An amicable divorce has many benefits, particularly if children are involved and you will be working with their other parents to raise them after your separation.
Read our guide on how to have an amicable divorce and our top tips for keeping the process as stress-free as possible.
How Does an Amicable Divorce Work?
When you divorce, you will need to make arrangements for your children and have a financial order put in place dealing with the splitting of your assets. It is often possible to work out the details without the need for litigation. Even if you are not initially able to agree, services like mediation exist to help you try and reach an acceptable compromise.
Once you have most or all of the details agreed upon, a solicitor will be able to finalise matters for you by drafting consent orders. These are given to the court, which will approve and seal them, making them binding.
Even if you and your spouse have a close relationship and are able to agree on financial matters, you should still always have a financial order made. Without this, there is a risk that they could make a financial claim against you in the future, should circumstances change.
Is it Possible to Have an Amicable Divorce?
It is becoming increasingly popular to try and work towards an amicable divorce. This is generally a faster process, particularly as the family courts usually have substantial backlogs. It is also more cost-effective than going through lengthy legal proceedings.
The main benefit to couples is preventing any further breakdown of the relationship. If you will be parenting your children together, then reducing animosity can benefit everyone.
Our Top Tips on How to Divorce Amicably
Here are our 6 top tips:
1. Ask for Help
Even if you are both committed to divorcing amicably, there are likely to be issues on which you don’t agree. Resources exist to help couples deal with matters together, such as family mediation. A neutral family mediator can help you both explore solutions for issues relating to children and finances.
You can return for as many sessions as you need to try and find a way forward. Even if you cannot agree on everything, the more you can settle, the less there will be for your solicitors to deal with, reducing the time and costs involved.
2. Try to be Understanding of Your Former Partner’s Position
Divorce affects everyone differently, and your partner may be experiencing different emotions for you. Try to be understanding if they are angry, in denial or grieving. In time, people are able to work through issues and, provided that matters have remained civil, can often become more reasonable and easier to negotiate with.
3. Don’t Try to Solve Everything at Once
Facing a divorce can be emotionally taxing, and there is sometimes a temptation to try and deal with everything at once. This can be fuelled by worry over finances and how much time you will be able to spend with your children.
Trying to resolve everything immediately can make the atmosphere fraught, however, and could cause conflict. Take some time to adjust to the situation and think carefully about what you would like to achieve.
4. Be Prepared for Compromise
The key to an amicable divorce is often based on willingness to compromise. Sharing your children and splitting your assets could leave both of you with less than you want. Try to look at the situation as objectively as possible and think through what you feel is fair.
This can be difficult if there is a risk that you will be struggling financially. It can help to look at the future and think about whether one of you will be able to work more at some point, for example, when the children are older, or whether you might be able to downsize your property for a while.
Again, a mediator can be very helpful in guiding you through potential solutions. By finding out the options open to you and then taking the time to think them through, you stand a good chance of being able to agree on a way forward without a legal dispute.
5. Don’t Rush into Hasty Responses
If matters become tense between you both, try not to respond straight away. It can help to put your position in writing. This can ensure that you make all of the points you want to make clearly and also help you avoid an argument.
Once you have written what you want to say, leave it for a while, at least overnight, if not longer, and then go back through it and check that it won’t come across as hostile.
If you can show your partner that you are considering their point of view as well, it can help to de-escalate a situation.
6. Keep Communicating
Don’t be tempted to stop communicating, even if matters have become difficult. Try to keep matters non-contentious and respond civilly. If you end up having to communicate purely through your solicitors, matters will generally be slower and more expensive to resolve.
Is an Amicable Divorce Cheaper?
Generally speaking, the more issues you are able to agree on between yourselves, the quicker and cheaper a divorce will be.
If you are able to give your solicitor a list of points that you have decided upon, they will be able to start putting them into draft consent orders for approval by the courts.
Even if you have not agreed upon everything, using your solicitor to negotiate the final issues will be quicker and cheaper than leaving them to deal with everything. If you ask us to represent you, we will also discuss mediation with you, where appropriate, and provide guidance and support through the process.
How Do I Get an Amicable Divorce?
If you and your spouse are ready to divorce and you have agreed on as many issues as you can, speaking to a family law solicitor will ensure that you have the right court orders in place.
You and your spouse can make a joint application for a divorce. There is no need to provide any grounds on which you want the divorce. You will simply be asked to state that your relationship has irretrievably broken down.
At the same time, a financial order needs to be made. You will need to disclose your assets and liabilities; then, your solicitor can draft the order and ask the court to seal it.
If you have children, you can also consider whether you want a child arrangements order made, setting out the details of how much time they will spend with each of you. This can give you both the security of knowing what will happen and what is expected of each of you. It can also prevent misunderstandings and stop either of you from making unilateral changes to any agreement you reach.
Contact Our Family Solicitors
If you would like to discuss obtaining an amicable divorce and dealing with matters with minimal conflict, contact us today, and we will be happy to help. We always aim to resolve issues without the need for litigation. For more information, see our family law page.To speak to one of our expert divorce solicitors, ring us at 0330 173 3980, email us at info@witansolicitors.co.uk or fill in our contact form, and we will talk through your situation with you and discuss how we can assist.
