If you have children and you are facing a divorce, your main concern is likely to be the welfare of your children. We take a look at the impact of divorce on children and how you can help and support them during this difficult time.
The effects of divorce on children of different ages
How a child deals with the separation of their parents will always depend on the individual, however, different age groups tend to have different concerns.
Younger children may struggle to understand why their parents are living separately. If they understand that their parents no longer love each other, they could worry that their parents will stop loving them as well. They may also worry that if they see a lot less of one parent, they could also lose the other parent in this way.
Older children could think that the separation is their fault in some way. Teenagers may be angry and resentful, but their concerns could be more focused on the effect on their lives, such as whether they will have to move away from their school and their friends.
Generally speaking, emotions that might be experienced by children during a separation or divorce include confusion, anxiety, anger, insecurity and a sense of loss. Their behaviour may change and they could be fearful of things such as being left alone while a parent is out or going somewhere new. At school, their concentration could suffer and they may become withdrawn.
Helping children through a divorce or separation
Communication is important during this time, as well as minimising any conflict, at least while children are present. If you can talk to your children together and reassure them that you both still love them and will both still be in their lives, this can help reassure them.
Children will want to know the details of what will be happening, such as where they will be living, when they will see each parent and what their day-to-day lives will look like.
They can be encouraged to talk about what they are thinking and feeling. Activities that they enjoy, such as outings to favourite places, can help them spend some time without thinking about the divorce and reassure them that their lives will continue to contain the same enjoyable experiences as before.
It might be difficult to find time during a divorce, but spending as much time as you can with your children can help them and give them the opportunity to talk to you. It might be easier to do this in an informal way, such as while out walking or playing at the park.
Keeping their lives as stable as possible will help them cope and adjust more quickly.
Arrangements for children
As part of your divorce, you will need to put new arrangements in place for your children. These can be set out formally in an agreement that is signed by the court, making it legally binding. The arrangements will include issues such as:
- Where your children will live
- How much time they will spend with each parent
- Who else they will see
- How they will keep in touch with their parents while they are not together
If you have difficulty coming to an amicable agreement, your solicitor will be able to negotiate on your behalf. If necessary, mediation can be arranged to try and help you and your child’s other parent find a solution.
For more information, see our articles on father’s rights in the UK, prohibited steps order and who gets custody over children in a divorce, or contact our child arrangement solicitors today.
Contact our divorce solicitors
At Witan Solicitors we always work to help you resolve matters amicably wherever possible, reducing conflict and helping you to find a solution quickly so that you and your children can move on with your lives.
If you are going through a divorce or separation and you would like to speak to one of our expert divorce solicitors about making arrangements for children, email us at info@witansolicitors.co.uk or fill in our contact form and we will be happy to help you. We have offices in London, Birmingham and Northampton.
